The autumn leaves bring with them the first big head-to-head with your child's teacher. This is one of the most important half hours you will spend this school year on your child's behalf. Here are some tips to take with you on the big day.

Maximizing Your Time

• Stay focused. Yes, it's great to look around at the artwork on the walls of your child's classroom, but save the sightseeing tour for another day. Your goal is to get as much information about how your child can do his best in school from the person who spends almost as much time with him each day as you do.
  
  
• Find out how your child learns best: Is he visual (he needs to be shown how to do things or read about how it's to be done), auditory (he needs to hear the words before he can understand), or is he more hands-on? Most people learn in a combination of ways, but usually do best with one area.
  
  
• You need to know how your child behaves in class, how he pays attention to the task at hand, and how he interacts with other kids in the class. These are equally important pieces of the learning pie.

Meeting the Teacher's Needs

• Take the time to meet your child's teacher face-to-face before the big day. If that's not possible, call her on the phone or write a note intorducing yourself. Tell the teacher how important your child's education is to you. This will break the ice and make you allies in your child's future.
  
  
• Think about how to best describe your child to his teacher. What is important for her to know? For instance, is your child likely to volunteer answers in the class? Include your child's good points and areas for improvement, as well as your child's likes and dislikes so that you can create a realistic picture. Are there any problems at home the teacher should know about? What techniques have you tried that work with your child. You can tell her about anything from time-outs to color-coding homework.
  
  
• Make a list of specific questions or concerns that you want answered. Bring the list with you so you can make sure you cover everything. Take notes during the meeting. Follow up at a later date with more questions if you think it's necessary.
  
  
• Don't just nod your head at everything the teacher says. Ask questions and add information. You want to work together toward the common goal of educating your child.
  
  
• Once the conference is behind you, check in with the teacher periodically to see how your child is progressing.
  
  

  What to Expect

  • No matter where your child is on the learning graph, there's always room for improvement. If not offered, ask for a plan for your child and find out what the teacher's expectations are over the next several months.
    
    
  • If your child is more advanced than others in the class, you should be satisfied that there is a plan to keep her challenged. If there isn't one (often gifted children are overlooked by teachers not trained in that area), work on one together or ask for a referral to someone who can. Follow up to be sure the plan is implemented.
  
  

  Ask These Questions

  • Is your child achieving according to the teacher's expectations? Underachieving? Is he pushing himself to be perfect?
    
    
  • What does the teacher see as your child's strong points and weaknesses? These may be different from your observations.
    
    
  • What are your child's favorite subjects or tasks? Does he tackle new projects enthusiastically or does he come to it dragging his feet? How is the situation handled if he resists?
    
    
  • What books and authors does your child like best? What books are read in class? Is he working at his grade level? If not, what plan is there to help him improve or be more challenged?
    
    
  • How does the teacher plan to meet the standards set by the school district? What type of assessments are used and how frequently are they administered?
    
    
  • Does your child respond better at certain times of the day?
    
    
  • Is your child making wise choices in terms of friends in the class? Is he making friends at all? Who are his friends and how does the teacher view those children?
    
    
  • Is your child paying attention in the classroom? Does he do what is asked of him?
    
    
  • What topics won't be addressed in the classroom that should be discussed and studied at home? For instance, should your child participate in enrichment programs such as music lessons or art projects?
    
    
  • What can you do at home to support what your child is learning in the classroom?
  
  

  Tips from the Trenches: Teachers' Suggestions

  • "Ask about discipline. What behavior management techniques are used in the classroom?"
    
    
  • "Let your child have input about the conference. Is there anything that he would like you to discuss on his behalf?"
    
    
  • "There's no better way to see what is going on in your child's classroom than by volunteering there."