Communication and Cooperation

And what if you have a problem with your child's teacher? "Try to be non-confrontational but deal with the issue," says Harvey. "Express your concern without making accusations, and work together to solve it."

Graham agrees. "If parents have questions or concerns with me, I want them to come and tell me. Then if they aren't satisfied with my answer or don't get the results they expect, they can go to the principal. But I ask that they work with me first."

Following the conference, parents should sit down with their child and talk about what was discussed. "When we get home, I always tell the kids what the teacher says, and if she makes a suggestion, we put her ideas into practice. Then I follow up with the teacher when needed," Harvey says.

Thomas does this too. "Whether there is a problem or not, I tell the kids everything that went on. I want them to know we are all working together on this."

And working together is what it is all about. "I try to give 100 percent, and I want the parent and child to give 100 percent too," says Graham.

"What it boils down to is communication and cooperation—that's what parent-teacher conferences are all about," Harvey concludes. "It shouldn't be the only time you touch base with the teacher. But it should lay the groundwork for a working relationship that will benefit your child throughout the school year."

Conference Questions

To get the most out of your conference time, you need to be prepared. Following is a list of questions parents may want to ask the teacher during conferences:

• Does my child seem happy at school?


• Are there particular subjects in which he/she is more eager to participate?


• Do you see any special interest or strengths? If so, what can I do at home to foster those talents?


• Are there any subjects that my child needs extra help or seems less motivated? How can I assist in those areas?


• Does my child seem challenged by the school work or does he/she seem to complete it with little effort?


• How does he/she react to trying new things?


• How does he/she react to making mistakes?


• How does my child interact with other children and adults?


• Does he/she seem well-accepted among his/her peers?


• Are there any behavior problems? How does he/she react to authority when corrected for talking out of turn, misbehaving, etc.?


• How are my child's creative thinking and problem solving skills? What do you recommend for development in these areas?


• How much should I be involved in my child's homework assignments?