The question seems benign enough. "How was your day?" you ask, smiling into the rearview mirror as your child tosses his backpack on the floor of the car and buckles himself in.

On a good day, your inquiry might elicit a noncommittal shrug before he puts the headphones on and tunes into his Game Boy. Today, apparently, is not a good day.

"Mom!" he whines. "I don't want to talk about it! Why do you always ask me that?"

You apologize, feeling like a snoop, and decide to leave him to his entertainment.

Sound familiar? Take heart, moms and dads—you're not alone. "I know nothing about what my kids do all day at school," says Miyuki Ruben, a Keyport, New Jersey, mother of two. "I don't know what they are learning or who their friends are. They tell me nothing."

All parents want is a window into what their kids are doing all day at school, but how can we get this information without entering a battle of interrogation and refusal to talk? Try these five tips to get your kids to let you know what's going on after their school day.

Get Involved

"It's important that parents become as active as they can be in their kid's school right from the beginning," says Richard Zakreski, a Monmouth County, New Jersey, clinical psychologist who specializes in children and families. "Join the PTA, volunteer to be the class mom for a day—whatever it takes to become familiar with your child's daily environment and friends. That way, you'll have a point of reference when your child talks about his friends or teachers or the work they do in class. This makes it easier for your child to relate and to open up the lines of communication."