Take Control

So how do you decide what constitutes objectionable material when it comes to your kids? Dr. Jim Taylor, PhD, parenting psychologist and author of Your Children Are Under Attack says, "There are no set rules. It's up to parents to decide based on their values."

Parents need to understand their own values, he says, so they can make rational decisions regarding their children's entertainment. Beyond basic values of peace over violence or polite manners versus rudeness, Dr. Taylor suggests teaching kids to value traits like honesty over physical attractiveness or sportsmanship over greed.

Additionally, Dr. Taylor wants parents to recognize that television producers, music companies, and game manufacturers create products with the sole intention of making a profit. "Parents need to understand the power of pop culture and study it," he says. "Play the music, play the video games, watch the movies, and understand the underlying messages."

Consider something as simple as a soft drink commercial with its catchy music and images of cool kids laughing and slapping high fives. Children are slammed over the head with the message that drinking soda will make them attractive, popular, and deliriously happy. If parents are tuned into those commercials, they can ask their kids, "When you drink a Coke, does the room suddenly erupt into a party? Do you become more popular?" Kids will most likely laugh at the absurdity, but you've given them a basic tool for seeing beyond the hype and thinking for themselves.

Seeing through the hype also helps you explain to your children exactly why you object to something. If Bratz dolls bother you because they celebrate the sexualization of little girls, tell your young daughter that you won't buy them for her because everyone knows that it's rude to walk around half naked and you don't want her playing with rude toys.

Similarly, if your son wants to listen to music with lyrics that degrade women, not only are you in the right to ban it from your house and his iPod, you're responsible as a parent to explain to him exactly what those words mean and how offensive they are to women… including his mother!

Sometimes you might agree that a certain movie is great, but that your child isn't mature enough to appreciate it yet. There's nothing wrong with saying, "I know your friends have all seen it and you've heard all about it. But there is material in there that you and your friends aren't old enough to fully understand, so you may absolutely see it when I think you're ready."

On the topic of taking control, never ever forget who's defining the values in your family. Dr. Sternheimer says, "Parents are under a lot of pressure to exercise these controls over their kids, often from other parents! They wonder if they're not good parents or if they're doing something wrong if they let their child do something other parents don't allow."

Remember that you know your child best, and if you've determined that Huckleberry Finn is a fantastic book for your child to read, despite being removed from the school library because it contains the word "nigger," you shouldn't feel a shred of guilt for allowing your child to read it if you use the book as a tool to discuss slavery and racial prejudice.

Taking control means becoming familiar with what is influencing your children and making decisions based on your family's set of values.