From his recliner, a father criticizes a television personality for how fat she looks in her evening gown ...

A brother speaks disparagingly about his girlfriend's hip size, claiming she needs a "license for the wide load" ...

The mother of a 5-year-old tells her jokingly that she will develop a "Buddha belly" if she puts butter on her bread ...

A child states that more important than getting A's in school is being accepted by the "popular group." Her parents make no comment ...

Message Received!

A vulnerable child is quick to take in and personalize what are otherwise meant to be benign "throwaway" comments. Harmful messages get transmitted to children unintentionally and may result in body image disturbances -- the precursor to eating disorders.

As early as the first grade, children are reporting concerns and preoccupation with weight and body shape; some will even begin to restrict food. Camp counselors report 6- and 7-year-olds studying nutritional labels on food items as they empty their lunch sacks.

A U.S. Department of Health and Human Services task force reports that 80 percent of girls in grades three through six have bad feelings about their bodies -- an issue diverting attention from schoolwork and friendships. Preteen boys, inspired by the world of sports and television, fret about the inadequacy of their builds, believing that the strength in their muscles or the girth in their chests is more important than intelligence, compassion, or emotional well-being.

Believing that outward appearance is a reflection of inner quality, children with body image concerns develop a sense of who they are (physically and emotionally) and how they should behave by internalizing messages about themselves from others. Children who are lacking in self-esteem and who seek acceptance and approval are particularly sensitive and susceptible to the perceptions of parents, family, peers, and the media.

While body image concerns do not always lead to the clinical disease of an eating disorder, these concerns need to be recognized and addressed so that children can learn to enjoy a healthful relationship with food.

Signals from Parents

Parents may inadvertently and unwittingly contribute to their child's body image issues. Disparaging or critical parental messages sent to a child about his or her appearance create or reinforce body image concerns, as well as a lack of self-acceptance, poor self-esteem, and food fears and obsessions. When parents harbor unresolved weight-related and body image issues of their own, these issues may be passed down to children as a legacy, from generation to generation. One study showed that anorexic mothers raised children who by age five whined more, demonstrated eating problems, and manifested signs of depression.

Children learn best by example, and overhearing their parents complain about their own weight and need to diet, watching them restrict food or exercise excessively are poor examples. Kids are quick to pick up on the signals of parents who skip meals, purchase and eat only lite or fat-free foods, or who do not consider it a priority to prepare and provide three meals a day and to sit down to eat them together with their family.

Poignant messages are also communicated by what parents choose not to do and to say. When parents do not actively refute poor values or misconceptions in their children, they may find that they are perpetuating and reinforcing them; if they fail to actively negate the child's belief that popularity and peer acceptance is as important as learning and academic achievement, the child's own worst fears and misconceptions are realized and validated. If not part of the solution, parents are in danger of becoming part of the problem.